Kathryn's Inbox Exclusive: Old Lady Arrested For Harassing Teens on Bus

NOWHERESVILLE, AUSTRALIA--Mrs Edith Sparkles, age 73, was arrested and charged yesterday after harassing a group of teenagers on board a public bus. "I couldn't quite believe it," the bus driver, who works for Nowheresville Transit told one of our reporters. "The run started out just like any other. My first stop was just outside the local church, where I picked up a group of teenagers who all attend the church youth group and were on an outing together. My next stop was the retirement village to pick up Edith and that's when all hell broke loose."

"Mrs Sparkles has something of a reputation for criticising the behaviour of others on board the bus," a source who would rather remain anonymous told us. "Anyone who didn't purchase a ticket, who sat in the wheelchair access seat without just cause, who didn't stand up for the elderly or who put their feet up on the seats was always giving a sound telling off. We used to call her the Bus Nazi behind her back."

On the day in question, Mrs Sparkles climbed aboard the bus and immediately became distressed when she discovered that the group of teens were all seated toward the back of the bus and were quietly chatting among themselves. All wheelchair access seats were available, all tickets had been duly paid for and no one had their feet on the seats. At least three teenagers even offered Mrs Sparkles their seat, although there were still many seats available. "We all thought that she would be pleased," our source said. "But instead of basking in the utopia that she had fought so hard for, Mrs Sparkles seemed to become increasingly agitated and distressed. She began marching up and down the aisle, seemingly with a determination to find something wrong with at least one of her fellow passengers. She even began checking each of their shoelaces to see if they were tied properly."

The situation finally came to a head when the leader of the church youth group, Joshua Carpenter age 23, restrained Mrs Sparkles, thus preventing her from checking as to whether or not the members of the youth group were wearing singlets and if so, that they were tucked inside their underwear. "I find it disgusting that any member of the public would even attempt to interfere with one of the children who were under my supervision," Mr Carpenter explained. "The youngest ones are only twelve years old and were terrified."

Mrs Sparkles appeared gleeful as she began yelling at Mr Carpenter, telling him that he was a rude and disrespectful boy and that he ought to wash his mouth out with soap. At this point, the bus had pulled over to the side of the road and police were boarding, ready to arrest Mrs Sparkles. "This is an outrage," Mrs Sparkles was allegedly heard shouting, as police pulled her away. "An old lady cannot even travel alone on public transport anymore without someone trying to cause trouble ..."

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Peppermint Patty: I Cried and Cried and Cried

Image
Unrequited love is a common theme in the Peanuts Comics and is one that I have previously explored on this blog. We know that Lucy loves Schroeder, Sally loves Linus and Charlie Brown has a crush on the unseen, unnamed and utterly unattainable Little Redhaired Girl. But perhaps the saddest unrequited love stories from the comic is that which ran in late June 1972. It was the series of strips where the usually self-confident Peppermint Patty came face-to-face with the Little Redhaired Girl with the intention of thumping her and then something surprising happened: Here we have a usually self-confident girl, who is funny, unashamedly herself and talented at sports reduced to tears by the realisation of who she is not and never can be. I really feel for her in this series of comic strips. She knows that Charlie Brown can never love her, when he is so hung up over a girl who represents a supposedly ideal feminine beauty. Fortunately Linus, the most spiritual member of the Pean
Read more

Charlie Brown, Lucy Van Pelt and the Football

Image
One of the longest, and arguably, most infuriating, running gags in Charles Schulz's otherwise brilliant Peanuts comic strip, is where Lucy promises to hold a football for Charlie Brown and then pulls it away at the last minute, causing Charlie Brown to fall flat on his back. A typical strip looks like this: Source: Go Comics The gag is one of the darker themes in the strip. It works on the concept that every year, Lucy promises to hold a football for Charlie Brown. Every year, Charlie Brown is initially filled with doubt but is eventually pushed on by a kind of optimism that perhaps, this time, Lucy might just let him kick it after all. As a metaphor for life, it is pretty simple. It talks of the moments when we choose to put our trust in people who have let us down only to be taken by surprise when they let us down, again. Lucy is, arguably, one of the crueller characters in the comic. Described as crabby by the other characters, she is often selfish, takes delight in wilfully hu
Read more

Phrases and Idioms: Tickets on Himself

To have tickets on himself: (Australian slang.) To be conceited or vain. To have an overinflated opinion of oneself.  He's got tickets on himself if he thinks that any woman would fall for that. I was thinking about this particular bit of Australian slang the other day, after my boss said, "He's got tickets on himself," to describe the actions of a particular individual. At the time, I smiled, knowing exactly what the boss meant. Later on, I started to ponder on this unusual phrase and wondered where it might have come from. A search on google helped me find the definition, but that was about all. There are no references to it being used in pop culture or literature (if you find one, let me know,) and at the time of writing this post, Tickets on Himself was not listed on Urban Dictionary. (I tried to add it, but the fuckers rejected my definition. They probably think I have tickets on myself or something for trying to add a relatively common piece of A
Read more